Have you ever found yourself in a place of being tired of being single? Because I totally have. Sometimes I am completely satisfied with being single + am really loving life as a single pringle, but then there are moments I am so weak + unsatisfied.
If so, this post is for you. Let’s dive into the purpose of singleness + the many opportunities it brings, instead of allowing it to cause us to be ungrateful + angry. And even if you aren’t craving to be in a relationship + are rocking the single life (good for you!), there’s a bunch of truth + good reminders below for singles in all stages of life.
Disclaimer: this is not meant to make dating or married people feel bad– in fact, the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:17 that each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. There are benefits that come with those seasons of life, but this post is meant specifically to encourage those who are struggling to see the positive side of being single.
In general, it’s important when we are tempted to not be grateful to remember truth. It can be easy to throw pity parties for ourselves + tell ourselves things that aren’t even true or maybe half-truths. The truths below are all from the Bible… and quite honestly, I’m preaching to myself because this is something I struggle with + need to remember a lot of times. So I challenge you, to dive into these truths + really wrestle with them. Allow God to show you the areas you’ve been struggling with + what truths you need to hold on to.
- Undivided attention + devotion to God (1 Cor 7:34)
The first + most important thing is that singleness gives us more time to spend with God…or at least it should. Think about it: if you aren’t spending much time with God now, what makes you think you will once you have a significant person in your life.
Singleness is a time to have closeness with God like never before. You have less distractions + more time to devote to God. So my suggestion is to spend as much time as you can with God now. Ask Him tough questions, pray bold prayers + get to know His heart. Find contentment in Him alone before turning to someone else.
2. Free from other worries (1 Cor 7:32)
When you are single, you only have to worry about pleasing God. But when you are married your focus is on your spouse, kids, etc. Even when you’re dating, it’s easy to make that person a priority (+ it should be, but in the proper way). Singleness means your only interest is God, but marriage + sometimes even dating brings dividing interests. Enjoy the time you have now while being single because dating + marriage is not easy, it requires a lot of hard work + communication. I’m sure there are many challenges that come up with dating that we have never had to experience before.
3. Time for self discovery
One of the things I am benefiting from greatly in this season is learning about myself. I’m learning about my preferences, my down faults, what I’m good at + what I’m not so good at. But this season also helps me work on disciplining + making myself better for growth. I’m working on becoming the type of person I want to be in a relationship, but ultimately becoming more like Christ. I think a lot of people step into relationships thinking they’ll change so much or that they’ll automatically become a better person. And while I do think you grow a lot in relationships (+ definitely towards good if you are in a God honoring relationship), the person you are before marriage is the same person you will be once you step into a marriage. So work on that now!
4. Time to figure out your calling + purpose
Along with learning about yourself, it’s also important to know what God is calling you to do + what your purpose is for your life. I do understand that a spouse can drastically change the course of your life, but also, you need to know who you are + what you do without a significant other. You need to know what your purpose is here on this earth without the pressure + opinions of others. Life does not start when you get married or start dating, it starts right now!
Right now you get to make your own decisions + set your own schedule without the factoring in of another person. Now is the time to travel, do the things on your bucket list + make the most of your independence (within reason of course). Seriously… you wont have this opportunity once you are dating, married + have a family. Look at the things you can do now, the things specifically for singles (or that are easier for singles) and do it.
So the next time you’re discontent about being single or struggling to stay positive, I hope you remember these truths. And an even further challenge is try to pick up on situations that lead you to feel this way because that could show you deeper issues.
I hope these truths can help you through times of doubt in seasons of singleness. Girl, we are in this together! It may be hard, but it is not impossible with God. Please let me know if you enjoyed this post or want me to write more posts on singleness or even if you thought a point was helpful or have one of your own. But also, please don’t hesitate to send me a message if you have any questions, need encouragement or just want to chat.